Time to bin Facebook?

Somebody I’m friends with on Facebook re-posted somebody else’s post over the weekend.  It was the usual joke pic type thing, this time a dig at BMW drivers.

I’m not sure how it works in other countries but, in the UK it’s a national pastime amongst non BMW drivers – knocking BMW drivers.  As an ex BMW driver I’m used to hearing all the usual jibes about BMW drivers cutting people up, not letting people out of junctions, owning the road, not indicating, etc.

Somebody else followed up with a reply saying they would like to see 4×4’s banned from the road also, unless owned by a farmer.  Knocking 4×4 owners has also long been a British national pastime.

I replied to both posts in my usual fashion by stating that in order to live up to the stereotype of 4×4 owner (which I am) and BMW driver (which I used to be) they should all fuck off and kiss my ass.  I wasn’t annoyed at the time, and my reply was a light hearted bit of trolling, but after I logged out of Facebook I felt myself becoming more annoyed.

If you don’t know the British, we are a nation of people who for some reason seem to love nothing more than to knock anyone who has something we don’t.  I read something once by somebody I forget the name of, who once said that in the UK we love to build people up so we can knock them back down again.  It also follows that anyone who’s wealthy or successful seems to deserve to be slagged off.

The easiest way to identify anyone who has gained something you haven’t seems to be to look at the car they drive.  If it’s a BMW/Audi/Mercedes/4×4 other expensive car then that’s an easy target.

I was thinking about it this evening and I think this British way stems from past as a class based society.  That begrudging attitude towards those that have more than perhaps we do, the behind their back snide remarks, the resentfulness some feel toward anyone who got ahead and advanced themselves when perhaps we did not  has long been part of the British mindset.   We might like to think we are a classless society these days but the truth is anything other.  We most definitely are.  We are country of have’s and have not’s whether that’s true in fact or just in perception.

Yes, that’s right.  I’m saying that I think the reason why the Brits run down BMW/Audi/Mercedes/4×4 drivers is NOT because they hate the cars or the drivers, it’s because they hate what that represents;  somebody who has had perhaps some degree more of success than themselves.

Of course the reality may be very different.  Chances are that the car they are slagging off was either bought cheap second hand (some “premium” cars depreciate in value like crazy) or is on a lease or hire purchase.

I was in the US a few years ago parked up across a quiet road from a petrol station when a nice new car driven by a youngish guy pulled up to the pumps.  “Hey nice car, man” yelled another guy filling up at an adjacent pump, before turning to his friends saying, “I need to get out and earn some more money ‘cos one day I’m gonna get me one of those”.  In that moment I was staggered by the difference in attitude.  I’ve never heard anyone in the UK do that.  I’m sure somewhere it happens, it’s just that I’ve never seen it.  It was striking.

The USA is a country of some of the biggest contrasts I’ve ever seen.  The gap between rich and poor is immense but I’ve never seen anyone begrudge another person’s success or run down somebody who owns a BMW/Audi/Mercedes/4×4.  They celebrate the successes of others.  To the average American it seems to be a validation that the American dream is possible and that hard work will get you those things.  It’s something to be admired, rather than derided.

So there I am getting more annoyed about this Facebook post and I find myself asking why I’m even doing this to myself.  Facebook seems to be full of keyboard warriors who happily post and repost content without consideration for the views or feelings of others.  By having “friends” who may be no more than acquaintances in some cases, I expose myself to the opinions of people who perhaps offline would either not be either my or their first choice as company in any bar or pub you can think of, but also the opinions of their friends, who I am likely to have even less in common with.

In my offline life I’ve been careful to remove as much negativity in my life as possible.  I don’t hang out with people who upset me or listen to the opinions of those I disagree with strongly.  If there’s something on TV or radio I don’t like I turn over or turn off.  In my home we’ve weaned ourselves off TV news in the UK because it’s just so negative.  A businessman in my acquaintance once asked a news reporter why we don’t have many positive news pieces.  The reply was that in the UK that just doesn’t sell newspapers or gain viewers.  There are hardly ever good news stories on our TV news channels but instead bad news, doom, gloom, blame and tabloid sensationalist journalism.

Back to the US for a minute; have you ever watched US news?  There isn’t much right?  You’ll get important local or national issues if they really are important and then a lot of light stories.  It’s refreshing.  Last night I watched NBC for 20 minutes  on the snow storm that hit New York, Washington DC etc, and while they had to report 20 deaths due to the extreme weather the news was never downbeat but instead upbeat and optimistic.  There’s a good reason it’s the only news I allow myself.

At home, we’ve also weaned ourselves off the UK popular soaps, Coronation Street, Emmerdale and the daddy of the negative soap story, Eastenders.  Five nights a week British TV has two hours of soaps that grind out stories of other peoples misery and us Brits jut can’t seem to get enough of it.  So bad has our thirst for negative voyeurism become now that we have TV shows that follow the repossession of goods from those who can no longer afford to pay and shows where we follow the lives of people on unemployment benefits.

I say we – again, not in my home.  We don’t watch that stuff.  We’ve removed as many of the negatives in our lives as possible.  We don’t see them as healthy.

So what of Facebook?  Why do I use it?  My (grown up) kids are on there and we use the Facebook messenger program and app to talk to each other in a group chat.  That’s the primary reason.  The other people I have listed as friends I don’t really need to be connected to.  I either work with them and see them often enough or I have their email address and phone number and they have mine.  We can stay in touch if we need to.  I don’t need to see the Facebook stream.  The adverts, the “like this to end world poverty” pictures, or the crazy and outrageous “Like this to save this baby from starving, and if you don’t you must support genocide” pictures.  The hate posts and raving opinions reposted by my “friends” and their “friends”.  It’s just more negativity.  On TV or Radio I’d turn over or turn off.  In person I’d walk the other way.  So why am I putting up with it on Facebook?

Try something.  Type into Google “Happier without Facebook”and see how many results you get.  There are pages of results of people who dumped it and who are happier as a result.  I’ve made up my mind.  Over the next week I’m going to do the same.  I’ll find another way of keeping in touch with my kids.  Perhaps the phone and Skype.  It’s nicer to talk than to type and if push comes to shove, there’s always good old text.

P.S. – If you want to share this on Facebook – feel free.  Maybe it will do some good.